Begin Connecting to yourSelf in 3 Simple Steps

Categories: Connecting to yourSelf (Capital S).

Connecting to yourSelf in 3 Simple Steps, Part 1

We’ve all been there–looking for the quick fix… a magic pill… THE book that holds the key to  answering the big questions that linger in your heart.

The bad news? Friend, that path is a Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz situation. No matter how many miles you trudge down the yellow brick road, you are not going to find what you’re looking for in Oz. You may find some great friends along the way–and I’m sure you will learn so much about yourself on the journey that it’s well worth the effort. But we all find our way to Oz only to face the disappointing truth that the wizard doesn’t know shit.

The good news? Your ruby slippers, the key to finding your way home, have been with you–inside you–all along.

YOU are the answer you’ve been looking for. You hold the magic within you!

Connecting to yourSelf (Capital S) is the key that will unlock the door to your Truth. It will give you every single tool that you need to guide yourself to a life that, right now, you only wake to in your dreams.

The exciting news? I’ve done decades of legwork for you, and I’m going to tell you where to start.


There are 3 Simple Steps to begin Connecting to yourSelf:

Step 1: Set aside quiet time to connect with yourSelf each day. This is a skill that takes practice… like learning piano, or tennis, or another language. Daily practice is essential!

Step 2: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Not only does a gratitude practice make life more beautiful, it’s the perfect tool to continue uncovering the many ways your Inner Voice communicates with you.

Step 3: Be gentle with yourself! Connecting to yourSelf is a skill that takes time and dedication. Just keep trying!

Those are the steps, but how do they look in practice? Over the next few weeks, we’ll explore each step in detail. Let’s begin with Step 1.

Spend quiet time alone every day, with no intention besides connecting to yourSelf.

Yes, EVERY day! I’d love for you to work towards at least 20 minutes. Does that seem impossible? Start with 5 or 10 minutes and work your way up. This is your practice time. This is how to learn what it feels like when you connect to yourSelf.

Find a consistent time that works for you. My quiet time is in the morning; yours may be different. Play around with various times of day and notice what feels best to you. Are you less distracted at lunch? That might be the ideal time to go outside and sit on a bench (or in your car if you have to!) Or maybe the end of the day is best for you, because you’re so tired that your brain doesn’t protest as much. Huzzah! Do it then!

When you have your quiet time doesn’t matter, but finding a place you won’t be interrupted for your allotted time is important. Tell your family you need a few minutes. Hang a sign on your door. Go for a walk. Hide if you need to! Especially at the beginning, you need as few distractions as possible. Comfort is also important. Ideally, you will find a place you like being, where you feel safe and at ease.

Set a timer so you can forget about the time altogether. You already put your phone on silent or in “do not disturb” mode, right? If you have a stopwatch or kitchen timer and you can leave your phone in another room–even better! Okay, timer started…

Begin by noticing your breath. Breathe in your own natural rhythm–no need to breathe more slowly or deeply, just guide your attention to your breathing. When we focus on our breath, we allow ourselves to be in the present moment.

There is no need to be concerned with your thoughts at all, just be with your breath. Thoughts happen, and you can let them pass by as quickly as they come. Do you notice any anxiety or tension? If so, you can invite it to leave your body as you breathe.

Where do you feel your breath in your body? Is it the cool air entering your nostrils and the warmer air leaving, or the rise and fall of your belly, or maybe the expansion and contraction of your torso?

Allow yourself to sink deeper into your body with each breath. Spend as much time as you need, noticing whatever part of your body wants to be noticed. It is all perfect just as it is, here in this breath.

From this safe, hopefully comfortable and comforting place in your body, it’s time to reach out and ask to connect to yourSelf. This is a gentle, curious process at first. You might look/feel for a warmth or a tingling sensation… it could be anywhere–in your chest… at the center of your torso… near your belly button. Once you find something to explore, just say “hi.” You can say it aloud or in your head; it’s just a friendly acknowledgement of yourSelf. Or maybe you had something spicy for lunch and you realize what you’re feeling is heartburn! That’s okay–drop back into your body and reach out again.

For the rest of the time remaining on your timer, just be with yourSelf. When your time is up, say “see you again tomorrow!” Bring your awareness back to your breath, and then notice where your body is touching the chair, bed, or ground. Slowly open your eyes if they were closed.

Well done! Can you show up again tomorrow? The day after that?

Please know that if you don’t feel like you’ve connected the first time you try (or first few times!) it’s okay. Your “job” at the beginning is to just show up. Remember you have years of practice ignoring your Inner Voice and distrusting your Intuition. Your Self might be super excited that you want to reconnect OR it might be understandably unsure. Just keep showing up–proving you really mean it.

In the future, you and yourSelf will be the best of friends, I promise. You will be able to have instant access to the wisdom you hold inside you (like to check in on a decision you need to make–whether something as simple as what to have for lunch or as huge as whether to take a new job across the country!) It’s a beautiful thing, but it will take time.

This is only the first step, but it’s a big one… the next two steps will help to strengthen your connection to yourSelf, but they won’t work if you don’t do the work in Step 1. In the next two weeks, we’ll talk about how (and why) to begin a gratitude practice, and why self-love and compassion are so important when learning to connect to your Inner Wisdom.

Until then, joyful connecting!



{Are you ready for Step 2? Let’s talk about Gratitude!}


  1. […] week, we did a deep dive into Step 1: Set aside quiet time to connect with yourSelf each day. If you missed that, please stop reading this now!  Start there… and then jump back in with us […]